In life, suffering seems to follow us in one form or another.
We are all living our lives by choosing one of three kinds of suffering.
Three Ways We Experience Suffering
1. The suffering of suppressing our desires
We hold back what we want and control ourselves to meet responsibilities, reality, and goals.
This often brings stability, but it can leave us feeling restricted and frustrated.
2. The suffering of seeking recognition
We try to meet others’ expectations, care about how we are judged, and strive to be loved.
This helps maintain relationships, but we may lose ourselves in the process.
3. The suffering of living as our true selves
We follow our own values and make our own choices.
This gives us freedom, but it can also bring loneliness, misunderstanding, or lack of recognition.
My Story
From my teenage years through my 30s,
I lived somewhere between the first and second paths.
I tried hard to fulfill my responsibilities, roles, and others’ expectations.
Outwardly, my life looked stable and smooth. But inside, I often suppressed myself.
Emotionally, I felt exhausted. To people who were not very close to me,
I appeared kind, considerate, and easygoing.
But to those closest to me,
I was often sensitive, irritable, and easily frustrated.
There were times I didn’t like who I had become.
After going through major life events—
childbirth and parenting, conflicts in my marriage, leaving my job,
and the sudden passing of my father—
I found myself feeling deeply overwhelmed and even depressed.
During those times,
books by Dr. Oh Eun-young and the teachings of Venerable Pomnyun Sunim
brought me comfort.
I especially listened to his Q&A talks, known as Dharma Q&A (즉문즉설) from Youtube,
whenever I needed guidance.
🌱 Understanding vs. Practice
Although I had listened to his teachings for a long time,
it was not easy to apply them in real life.
For example,
I somewhat understood the idea of “being aware of my emotions” in the moment.
But even when I recognized my anger,
it didn’t simply disappear.
And in truth,
I only practiced awareness occasionally—only when I happened to remember.
So for a long time, his teachings remained at the level of comfort.
They helped me realize “I’m not the only one feeling this way”and “human emotions are quite similar.” But my deeper suffering didn’t change much.
📿 My Journey with Jungto Society
Wanting to grow and become a better version of myself,
I enrolled in the 5-month online Buddhist course
offered by Jungto Society last fall.
I graduated this past February.
Looking back,
it was a meaningful opportunity to learn more deeply about Buddhist practice and the teachings of the Buddha.
One of the most impactful parts of the program
was sharing thoughts and feelings with fellow practitioners.
At first, it was not easy.
Opening up honestly about my inner thoughts felt uncomfortable,
and I often wondered what I should say.
But as time went on,
I began to resonate with others’ stories.
And when I shared my own,
I found unexpected comfort.
🌿 Continuing the Path
Wanting to deepen my understanding,
I decided to continue my journey by enrolling in a Buddhist scripture course.
Today was my online orientation.
Looking back,
I realize there were many thoughts and feelings
that I simply let pass during my previous studies.
I now feel a sense of regret for not reflecting on them more deeply.
So this time,
I want to record my thoughts and experiences
as I continue both my study and practice.
✨ Closing Thoughts
This journey is not about becoming perfect.
It is about understanding myself,
little by little.
And perhaps,
learning how to live with less suffering.
Here is Jungtosociety web site in English.
The Healing Korean 